There are days that you have fun and
there are days that are special. One of the ways to increase the number of
special days is attending reunions with people you grew up back in school or
college.
But then you will wonder if you should
really go.To
that particular reunion.
Because, all of a sudden —you will come across a group
of people wanting to just come together for the heck of it. Just be together
for a few days and no element of practical or logical mind of yours will be
able to explain the forces behind such an event.
And
then in the likely event that it happens, you will be asked to connect with
people you haven’t connected with for a long time. Or you would have not known
for a long time.
And
you will keep wondering if you should go. There would be a big WHY question.
WHY go to a reunion? Why, why, why? The negatives might seem to outweigh the
positives, at least at first. You will wonder if one-upmanship will rear its
ugly head. Or if you will be forced into a box you have worked so hard to break
free from over the last few years. Or if you will remember anyone or
worse...whether anyone will remember you.
But
maybe … you should go. At least show up for a while. Maybe, because the benefit
will show up. Surprising benefit. Benefit that will be hard to articulate up
front, because you won’t know it exists until you are there.
You
won’t know what impact you might have. You won’t know what impact it might have
on you.
Unless
you go.
Yes ; I have attended a few
reunions.....school mates and college ones. And I write this on this final day
of a college hostel mates reunion...Hostel no.3, Punjab University,Chandigarh.
This is place I lived for four long and memorable years and graduated to become
engineers for a lifetime. As it turns out and understandably so, it worked out
different for all of us and the guys now are in different places, doing
different things, some quite successful, some not so and some still working on
it. Some had trying times and some still passing through some.
I
admit, on the first reunion some years back, when I walked through the hotel door
where the group was holding out, my heart was pounding with anticipation.
It
had been a while.
But
there in the room stood a few guys with the same old...same old persona. Some
guys who looked nearly the same and others very different from how they were. Some
bit outspoken and others who just wanted to be present and enjoy the moment.
Some trying to size up with others and some others who did not care. The talk
came next and it revolved more or less about tough days and how we all managed
to rough it out. How life treated you, how people treated you and what made you
the person you are now. No hold barred, just speak your mind stuff....just like
old times.
I
noticed that people start sharing more when the discussion warms up. The talk goes
deep about many things. Success in jobs. Failure in jobs. Triumph in
relationships. Sorrow in relationships. Good times and difficult times.
Instances recalled and revised to memory. Exchanging the likes and dislikes of
our children, who are growing up fast with every reunion. There were stories
recalled of struggles of everyone and some who did not have any.
The
wisdom of years, and the grace of being given what wasn’t deserved.
Some
of us shared some events. Certain things about other were known without being
shared. But everyone cared and were sensitive enough not to discuss that. Some
issues were just laughed away like the Dahi-
bhalla of Gopals and the Ras –malai of Bikanerwala.(although lot of effort went behind it).
We
talked of guys on which some of us survived in college for their notes. Then
there were those who we all thought about
and gave a ring at the dead of the night(in
their time zones). There was someone who had lost their loved ones and others
who had come all the way to meet up with ailing relatives. Our thoughts were
with them and they knew that that was true.
We
remember classmates no longer alive and
others not traceable even in this day and age. We recalled a guy who had left us
all for the heavenly abode and we remembered him in tribute and kept a two
minute silence ( Vijay Thakur : RIP, you
will always be missed in all such reunions). There was also stories about
guys who had troubled relationships and were still trying to get over it. The
world can be a brutal place to be in.
And
just by saying that all will be well and sending blessings their way was
enough.There were guys who had battled cancer. And who told their story of the battle and victory.
One another was fighting it out and Winning.
Winning. Winning.
There
also are stories of old flames and certain clarifications came from unexpected quarters
as we all opened up and then everything
fell in place.
Just
keep talking and sharing. This time around, we talked all evening and late into
the wee hours. We talked some more the next day at dinner at our favourite
haunt – ‘Ghazal’, where more
classmates came. We talked after dinner and had a round of Sector 17,
Chandigarh trying to recall various places of what all had not changed and what
all had. The late night movies and tickets of the Amitabh Bacchan starrer –‘Hum’ and ‘Sirroco’ bought in black were also a hot topic.
The
more reunions I attend, I see more openness and less shallowness from everyone.
It turns out that it is all about valuing the people from your past and
sincerely valuing the moment, gathered
with these people we had known for so
long.
On the morning of the
final day, we sat together getting things to eat from the elaborate buffet. It
was a feeling of being back in time, being able to just be yourself as we spent
time talking and laughing (and swearing with Punjabi expletives) with all the
stories and tears. .
Taking
time out to spend a few days in a place where
we spent the formative periods of our lives can cleanse you of the negative energies
and make you more emotionally resilient
in a way.
This
is highly recommended by me too. While we see good turnout of people who just
want to travel back in time, its a time to keep these bonds strong forever.
Forever.
What
had made this experience the way it was. The depth of the combined experience
over the years had proved more powerful than could ever be fully described.
Rather, the power in the reunion had emerged from our togetherness. We were
just happy to still be here. Happy to be alive. Happy to be at peace with each
other. Happy that today a new banner flew over us—and I’ll use this word even
if it sounds a bit cheesy—
A
banner of love.
This
I would say with a prayer to the lord almighty :
I
pray for healing of all the souls. Because it was clear the years had hurt
everyone. I also pray for gratitude over
us. Thankful to the Creator for the people from our pasts, the people who
proved so valuable yesterday and today. So very valuable.
That’s
how I would like to close our college hostel reunion. The class of 1994. With
this unforeseen and powerful benefit.
And
you?
Soon
you will be invited to a reunion.
You
will wonder if you should go …
Go.
P.S. : Written with inputs from a blog byMarcus Brotherton.
